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Rude Awakening Ep 2 : I'm The Boss!
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Literature Text
Episode 2:
I'M THE BOSS!
Legal stuff:
Daria and Company
are characters and property of
MTV/ Viacom Copyright 1997-2012.
This is for entertainment ONLY!
Please don't sue me, MTV!
I'm broke as a joke as it is!
Scene 1 (WHUB Break Room)
(Show opens with Daria, Jane and Burnout going over their show for tomorrow when Upchuck comes in)
UPCHUCK:
How are my feisty ladies doing today?
(Daria covers her eyes like in Peek-A-Boo)
UPCHUCK:
Daria, what are you doing?
DARIA:
I'm wishing you are gone when I open my eyes.
(Uncovers eyes)
Damn, You're still here!
UPCHUCK:
A Hardy- har - har at my expense. You all think I'm a punch line?
JANE:
You mean you weren't a walking punch line around here?
UPCHUCK:
OK, I see you have jokes, but I have BIG news.
DARIA:
I've got a feeling that a big lawsuit may be coming. Especially if he keep going down the track I think he is going.
UPCHUCK:
Just for that, I'm going to let you guess on what the news is.
DARIA:
Hmmm,
(snaps fingers)
You were voted as "Radio's Biggest Stalker"?
JANE:
Janet Barch and National Organization of Women have filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of the women of New England against you?
BURNOUT:
They finally banned the word "Feisty"?
UPCHUCK:
Damn, you three are feistier then usual. It is none of those. Have you notice WHO hasn't been here recently?
DARIA:
I know someone who I don't want here now.
JANE:
Amiga, I'm going to bite on this. Who wasn't here?
UPCHUCK:
Rally wasn't here the last few weeks. Daria, you were technically the boss as the Music Director of WHUB.
DARIA:
Yeah, I had to handle that whole "Stacy vs Sandi" debacle alone. So where is he so I kill him.......verbally?
UPCHUCK:
Company management already killed him..... verbally. They've fired him!
DARIA, JANE AND BURNOUT:
WHAT!
UPCHUCK:
They fired him 2 weeks ago. That whole mandatory meeting later today is to announce the new GM of WHUB. Ladies, we are going to have a regime change at WHUB.
BURNOUT:
Do you know who it's going to be?
UPCHUCK:
That - I do not know.
DARIA:
Then go find out somewhere else. We are in the middle of a meeting, right now.
UPCHUCK:
Can I stay?
BURNOUT:
No! It's a show meeting.
UPCHUCK:
But I......
BURNOUT:
(Points to the door and in her best Arnold accent):
GET OUT!
(Upchuck leaves the room but leaves the door open)
BURNOUT:
(Gives pipe down signal):
Wait for it........Wait for it...............Wait for it.
UPCHUCK:
(off screen):
Hey Stacy, nice butt!
(Followed by hard punch, loud crash and girly crying from Upchuck)
STACY:
(The "nice and sweet" Stacy with her hair down peeks in and smiles):
It's all clear, ladies!
BURNOUT:
Meeting is over!
Scene 2 (WHUB Board room)
(All the staff of the station is there to find out who is there new boss)
PHILL:
First and foremost we want to welcome you here today.
DARIA (Thinking):
And, If you weren't here today, we would be giving your name to the new GM so we can fire your ass out of here, on the spot, of course.
PHILL:
\As you may of known already, Rally will not be joining us anymore as GM of WHUB.
DARIA: (Thinking):
We found out he had too few brain cells left to be in radio, so we kicked him to the curb.
PHILL:
We are starting a new era for WHUB and a new era in radio need a great leader, we are welcoming a women who...
DARIA: (Thinking):
So we need to up our amount of women in the workplace up by getting a woman to lead our larger market station.
PHILL:
Can lead the way as she did in Philadelphia, New York, and LA helping those stations reach number 1 in there markets. Currently a lot more people are listening to WHUB then ever before.
DARIA: (Thinking):
Thanks to me having to completely rework that ancient play list of our. OK, it seems the new GM is smart and has a track record of success.
PHILL:
We welcome to WHUB 98.5 The HUB, Your new GM of operations, Joanna Landon!
DARIA:
(Thinking)
JODIE IS MY BOSS?
JANE:
Daria, You look like you've seen a ghost.
DARIA:
Eeep!
JANE:
Well it looks like it's our friend, the boss.
(Jodie come up to speak to the crowd)
JODIE:
Well, first and foremost you can just call me Jodie or Jo for short. Phill, Why did you have to tell them my whole name?
PHILL:
I thought you liked it.
JODIE:
I don't. To you all, I am excited to join a great team like WHUB. WHUB has a great legacy in broadcasting in New England and that is something I am proud to be a part of now as GM. I am excited to make new friends with each and everyone of you. We're going to make some great radio like we already have for 55 years.We're just going to take it to that next level and give them more of it.
Thank you all very much.
PHILL:
Thank you for coming to this meeting and have a great day.
JODIE:
Daria! Jane!
JANE:
Jodie, Welcome to WHUB!
JODIE:
Thanks I really appreciated. Daria, You look shocked.
DARIA:
I didn't think you would go for a station like this. You always went to the top stations in tough markets.
JODIE:
Daria, I got sick of babysitting those stations and wanted to take on a challenge. Unlike what you have heard or think, this station doesn't suck. Plus, I got the two amigas and hottest morning show in the city on my station. Hey, are you two hungry? I feel like some pizza.
DARIA:
Hey Lane, you want a free meal?
JANE:
I'm in!
DARIA:
What time?
JODIE:
6:00pm, I'm doing a live introduction to the listeners at 5:00pm on Stacy's show.
DARIA:
Cool, I will see you then. Jane?
JANE:
Yeah?
DARIA:
You know that no one person can handle all that power?
JANE:
Listening to a lot Kayne West again, I see?
DARIA:
You can tell.
JANE:
Yeah, I can tell.
Scene 3 (LaScalla's Pizzeria)
(Daria and Jane are waiting for Jodie for Dinner)
DARIA:
The public. Why do we want them to listening to us again?
JANE:
Simple, they listen; we get paid. They don't listen; no jobs!
DARIA:
Oh, that make sense.
JANE:
I thought it would.
(Fan approached Daria and Jane)
FAN:
Are you Daria and Jane from WHUB?
JANE:
The one and only.
DARIA:
As far as we know.
FAN:
Can I get an autograph and a picture?
JANE:
OK.
DARIA:
Make it quick.
(Fan takes picture and signs autograph for fan)
FAN:
My Grandma will love this!
DARIA:
That fame, she is a mother.
JANE:
As long as you are getting paid well for it and there's Jodie.
DARIA:
And just in time, too.
JANE:
How was your first meeting as WHUB's proud General Manager?
JODIE:
It was exciting but I hope you didn't see that I was a nervous wreck up there?
DARIA:
You weren't. I was, but you were cool under pressure.
JODIE:
Daria, you had a title with the station I needed to know about?
DARIA:
Yes, and welcome to The WHUB family. This strange, weird and wacky family of Boston radio. I'm The Musical Director of WHUB.
JODIE:
Not anymore.
DARIA:
(Insulted a little bit):
What the hell are you meaning by that?
JODIE:
After nailing down that Channel 5 Deal with WHUB that we been trying to nail down for a decade, Turning around a station that was a sinking stone by redoing the play list, growing the rating with said play list and putting the station in the top 5 in the market for the first time in the long time.
That doesn't sound like a Musical Director to me.
DARIA: (Interested):
What does that sound like to you?
JODIE: (matter of fact)
My new Programming Director! Daria Morgendorffer, would like to accept this offer of a new position with WHUB?
DARIA:
I will take the offer.
JODIE:
That means we need a new Musical Director for WHUB. Lane, you were previously Assistant Musical Director for WHUB. Would you like to take off the assistant off the title and become our new Musical Director of WHUB?
JANE:
Heck Yea!
JODIE:
You two are now running WHUB with me now.
DARIA:
So you had more then pizza on your mind, Jodie?
JODIE:
Yeah, But I was hungry too and I don't have to worry about staffing now. It's a really good deal being the boss!
Scene 4 ( Daria's Apartment)
(with both of there laptops going and papers surrounding them, Daria and Jane work on the re-launch of WHUB)
DARIA:
Now, I remember why I hated homework?
JANE:
So much music. Why do we have so much music?
DARIA:
Jodie wants us to change up the play list. She's saying she wants WHUB to be the HUB of music in New England.
(Sighs)
Jane, I got an idea?
JANE:
What is your idea, Morgendorffer?
DARIA:
I would like to see your Ipod.
JANE:
I must ask why?
DARIA:
I would like to see the musical taste of my new "Music Director".
JANE:
The Music Director would only agree to this breach in privacy if and ONLY if the MD gets to see the Programming Director's Ipod.
DARIA:
You drive a hard bargain, Lane. Deal!
(They switch Ipods)
DARIA:
The musical taste of Jane Lane, let us see what pops up. We have our usual play list of Alternative Rock- The White Stripes, The Strokes, TV On the Radio....Here some out of the ordinary track. Yolanda Be Cool - Speak No Americano, George Kranz- Din Da Da, Daft Punk- Da Funk, Fatboy Slim- Weapon of Choice and Lady GaGa- Love Game. What's up with all the techno and dance tracks?
JANE:
They are great artists to paint to. Fast music can get the artist juices in me flowing, plus it's great running music too. Ready for your questioning, Amiga?
DARIA:
As ready as I will ever be.
JANE:
I see a lot of hip hop on your iPod, Why Hip Hop?
DARIA:
Well I love a bangin' beat one in a while. I love Snoop Dogg, Kayne West, Gorillaz, Nate Dogg as well, but my favorite is Outkast.Anything they do I'll listen to it.
(looking through Jane's iPod)
Here one for you, Lane.
JANE:
Fire away, sailor.
DARIA:
You still listen to the big band stuff. I thought after that guy you would hate that stuff?
JANE:
That guy was Nathan and yes, he was an ass. But the music he listened to didn't suck at all. A lot of those artists really set the standard like Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, and Cab Calloway. You know there songs. They are that timeless. Plus, you got Big Bad Voodoo Daddies and Brian Setzer Orchestra keeping that music alive.
(Starts going through Daria's iPod)
Morgendorffer, What is all this Country Music?
DARIA:
I'm was from Texas, once. When you say Country to me, I don't mean the current crap they are calling country music. Now that's Nashville pop music.
JANE:
What do you mean then?
DARIA:
Country is to me is George Morgan, Jim Reeves, Conway Twitty, Lorretta Lynn, and the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. That's what I call country. REAL good country music.
JANE:
What's up with N'Sync?
DARIA:
Quinn.
JANE:
Quinn?
DARIA:
Quinn. If there was a boy band that was out in late 90's to early 2000's Quinn knew every member in that band and which band they were in. She played the hell out them every day and night. I think she considered torture, and for the most part, I would have to agree. Most of those group sucked except one, 'N Sync, and I fell in love with there album, No Strings Attached. I actually went into Quinn's room and stole her 'N Sync CD. Everybody thought I smashed it in to bits. I was actually listening to it every moment that I was alone and thought I could get away with it.
(Jane is laughing at Daria's admission of being of fan of 'N Sync)
JANE:
Who was your favorite one?
DARIA:
Justin Timberlake!
JANE:
Did anyone ever catch you with the CD?
DARIA:
I caught myself. When you go into work tomorrow, ask Stacy if this happened and she will confirm it as truth.
(Flashing back to the scene of the crime)
DARIA: (VO):
I was with Tom at the time.
JANE: (VO):
Yeah, thanks. Don't mention it.
DARIA: (VO):
Sorry and that was 10 years ago, back to the story. I saw online that day that the video for Bye, Bye, Bye was going to premiere on TRL. I told you I was with Tom for the afternoon and I told Tom that I was with you for the afternoon. I thought that the Fashion Club would be at Sandi's to watch TRL so I had the afternoon to basket in the glory that was 'N Sync on TRL in a home that I thought was going to be vacant when the Fashion Club showed up.
(Flashback)
QUINN:
Darrrria, what are you doing here?
DARIA:
I am waiting for the coolest video ever to come on?
QUINN:
And what video could that be?
DARIA:
'N Sync's Bye Bye Bye. Weren't you all supposed to be at Sandi's?
SANDI:
Quuinn, Did your cousin just said she is waiting for a 'N Sync video?
QUINN:
Did you really just said you are waiting for Bye Bye Bye?
DARIA:
Yes, I did? Then after the video premieres, I will go on mtv.com then vote the living hell out of that video so I can see it everyday.
QUINN:
Daria, stop joking.
(Stacy comes from upstairs)
STACY:
Why is your "cousin's" door wide open and computer on mtv.com's TRL page?
(QUINN with a shocked look starts to believe Daria)
TIFFANY:
Annnddd, hoooww does your cousin even know Whooo 'N Sync eveeeen Isss?
DARIA:
I heard it from Quinn and she got me hooked to 'N Sync and their current album.
SANDI:
But, QuuINN, You haven't had there current album for two months?
QUINN: (Sing-Songy):
Oh, Sandi, You are so right.I haven't had that album for months? Darria, Do you know anything about that?
DARIA:
Eeep!
(Back to the present)
DARIA:
You remember that day when I wore that sporty shirt that I hated - the one that showed off my belly, with the jeans, and the contacts? I told you I was doing "a walk in there shoes" thing?
JANE:
I remember that!
DARIA:
Payback via "Fashion Club Makeover", but I still bought N Sync's next CD. Also Justin's solo albums and everything he was doing. There is my rock star crush.
JANE:
I thought it was Trent?
DARIA:
(Blushing)
Quiet you.
JANE:
I am so going to play some 'N Sync on the show tomorrow!
DARIA:
Hold up, Amiga! Michael Buble, Celtic Thunder, and Josh Groban?
JANE:
Damn, PBS and their "Fund Raising" drives and their great soft music. Damn it. You going to pull that out if I pull out the boy bands, Right?
DARIA:
Right, but knowing you…
JANE:
Can I get a rain check for that bridesmaid's dress?
Scene 5 (WHUB Board Room)
(All the staff is there to find out what changes are coming to WHUB. The scene opens with Jodie front and center addressing her employees)
JODIE:
How are all of you this afternoon?
(Mumbles and grunts of "good" and "fine" from the staff that are there)
JODIE:
Glad to see we are in the land of the living. There will be some changes to WHUB, Of course.
UPCHUCK: (Like it was a reflex):
Please don't fire me!
JODIE:
Uhhmm, No jobs will be effected by the changes, but Upchuck if you are volunteering your job?
UPCHUCK:
Nope, I like my job.
(Jodie give Upchuck a "Daria"- Like stare)
JODIE:
Moving on. One of those change is in who will be programming the station. As you all know, Daria was our Musical Director. She is now our Programming Director. Jane Lane, our Assistant Musical Director will now be our new Musical Director for the station. Can both of them come and explain what will be happening with our station?
(DARIA and JANE come up to the staff)
DARIA:
As you all know, I am not one for public speaking or for speaking at all. Why I even entered into this line of work is baffling as best and that I ended up loving it, is even stranger.
(Some laughter from the staff, even from Jodie, remembering how Daria was in High School)
I loved being a part of a great station and building a great station. We are about music, first and foremost. It's who we are what and we have been for years. We are going to be adding more music with a "More Variety" approach by adding hits from yesterday and today. The music will be chosen and driven by who is behind the mic.
So when we start this format, there will be a shuffling of the times. We will be staying at our current 5-10am spot. Robert - you will be staying at your current 10am to 3pm spot. Stacy and Dani, we are putting you together for the afternoon drive time 3-7pm. Upchuck, We aren't firing you but you are making a big move in Nights 7pm-12am. We do not have anyone for overnights - but that will come soon. So for now, we might just go with straight music for that time. Now to Jane with info on the format.
JANE:
At this time, we are sticking with our Rock Variety format but with a simpler name WHUB 98.5.
(Robert raise his hand)
JANE:
Yes.
ROBERT:
So status quo for the station for now but under the New WHUB 98.5.
JANE:
Yes and we are aiming to surprise our listeners in a GOOD way with songs that you can only hear on WHUB, too.
ROBERT:
I like this.
JANE:
Also, we are looking at adding local music. We are looking at other ideas as well.
DARIA:
So - do what you already do and come and knock on our door if you have other ideas as well. You are now free and raise hell someplace else other then here.
JANE:
Stacy! Dani!
(whistles at them and wave them over)
You know we have yet to fill out the current reshuffling of the staff.
STACY:
Sooo, what does it look like?
DARIA:
Upchuck is in Promotions, we know he can go bother them for a while. Robert is a legend with the station so he is moving to community relations.
DANI:
Uhmm, where are we in this picture?
JANE:
Dani - you are with me, as Assistant Musical Director.
DANI:
(Sounding just like her brother, Jessie)
Cool!
JANE:
I don't know why that sounded so familiar. Hey Stacy, do you have 'N Sync on your Ipod?
(DARIA gives Jane a very dirty look)
STACY:
I haven't listen to them in years.
DANI:
You were listening to 'N Sync's I Want You Back, yesterday - when we were heading in. Last time I checked, years doesn't means hours.
(Stacy now shoots a very dirty look at Dani)
JANE:
You have something in common with your PD. You will be the Assistant Programming Director with Daria as your boss.
(Daria and Stacy are muttering every bad thing you can think of until Stacy thinks of something)
STACY:
Fine, but I got a choice for the MD and AMD, Have Daria here put you in those bridesmaids' dresses she has, or a song off my Ipod
DANI:
iPod
JANE:
Easy, iPod
STACY: (really perky):
And you have to listen to it all the way. Ok, Jane and Dani?
DANI:
No sweat
JANE: (laughing):
Might be the easiest thing I ever done and I ran the Boston Marathon.
DARIA:
What are you doing?
(Stacy shows Daria the song cue up on her Ipod, Rebecca Black- Friday)
DARIA:
Lane, I think you are about to regret those words.
(Quick cut to WHUB Studio, during Rude Awakening)
JANE:
And then, she did the impossible. She actually did the freaking impossible. I know Stacy is Boston's sweetheart, but by the end of that song - I would have put myself in that bridesmaid's dress then killed MYSELF before I would listen to that song again! I got one of those bridesmaid's dressed for Stacy just for making me do that as well.
DARIA: (Smiling):
Wait you mean?
JANE:
Rebecca Black trumps dead in Ugly Bridesmaid Dress!
DARIA:
Now thanks to Stacy, I can revise that bridesmaid dress quote to. "I will kill you and put you in that bridesmaid dress with Friday playing in the background!"
JANE:
Great, now it just went from funny to just plain evil, Daria.
(DARIA Starts playing the first verse of Friday)
JANE:
Screw you, Morgendorffer, I'm going home.
DARIA
laughing):
We still have an hour to go, plus Dani was going through the same thing, too.
BURNOUT:
The E-mail I received from Dani was just simple, F you and screw Stacy for doing that!
DARIA: (Cracking up)
I want to note that I didn't play this song to them, that was from Stacy off her Ipod.
JANE:
Why would she download it?
DARIA:
For moments like that. This is Rude Awakening on WHUB 98.5
Scene 6 (Daria's Office)
(Stacy and Daria are talking station programming and her prank on Jane and Dani)
DARIA:
You know I have to hand it to you, Rowe. That was really wrong especially after we JUST gave you a promotion - but the payoff of that joke made it so worth it.
STACY:
I feel really bad, but then I realized I was going to only be able to pull that one off once on them. Plus they learned a valuable lesson as well.
DARIA:
And what was that, Stacy?
STACY:
I freaking rule on April Fools! It has become a tradition that either me or Dani prank each other on or around that day, every year.
DARIA:
And we put you in a position of power, why?
STACY:
Because I'm the right person for the job. Uhmm, Daria?
DARIA:
Yes, Rowe.
STACY:
I want to pitch you a show for WHUB.
DARIA:
OK, give me your pitch.
STACY:
I want to do a Rock Show. Some local stuff, Some harder stuff, Stuff we don't usually play on WHUB.
DARIA:
Sounds interesting , but aren't we already doing that with the station?
STACY:
Jane said she's really not sure what the station will sound like after we finalize everything.
DARIA:
So that's what she been working on for last couple days?
STACY:
Plus, she and Dani aren't saying anything about the format to me. They're still giving me dirty looks after playing that song.
DARIA:
Yeah, about that? I listened to that song last night on YouTube and I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW THEY FEEL!
STACY:
Well - you can still ask Jane what's up with the format. Isn't she your "Amiga"?
DARIA:
She's still a little huffy about me even playing that song on the show.
(Jane comes in to Daria's Office)
DARIA:
And speak of the amiga.
JANE:
Does Stacy have her Ipod with her?
DARIA:
She has sworn to use her Ipod for good.
JANE:
OK, with that out of the way. I don't know what the format will be yet.
DARIA:
So your brain is in "Mystik Spiral" Mode?
(Imitating Trent)
Hi, were WHUB 98.5, but we'll be coming up with something better.
STACY:
Daria, Still have the hots for him?
(DARIA shoots a quick mean look at Stacy)
JANE:
Dang you are Miss Observant, Rowe!
STACY:
Hey, I was here when "The Spiral" did that interview with your show and Daria was acting like little school girl around the lead singer. Plus, I do listen to the show and conversations around the station.
DARIA:
Note to self. Do interviews on locations and away from Rowe. OK, Got any ideas with this format problem?
STACY:
I have been reading about this format called "Gen-X", but we don't have to call it that, of course.
DARIA:
What is it?
STACY:
We play the hits from yesterday and today. 80's, 90's, and 2000's and now. Hip- hop, rock and pop. If it's good we play it!
JANE:
Now I see why you hired her as your Assistant PD.
STACY:
I also did some research on this too.
(Dani walks in)
DANI: (Cautious):
Does Stacy have her Ipod with her?
JANE:
It's safe to enter.
DANI: (Calmer):
So what is up with the format?
DARIA:
Rowe might have something. She think we should go to a "Gen-X" Hits station.
DANI:
What the hell is that means, Gen-X?
STACY:
It's music our age group call "old" or "Classic" From Guns N' Roses to 'N Sync plus some current hit stuff that we already play.
DANI:
Ohhh, that explains it a little better. Do you two like it?
JANE:
I want do some research on my own on this.
DARIA:
I thought you, Jane Lane, would try to avoid the extra thought processing. What about the C average lifestyle?
JANE:
Daria, with your thought and reasoning, you have corrupted me. Not to mention, I don't want crappy music on my station.
DARIA:
So C average on everything but music?
JANE:
You got, Morgendorffer. I can't give the good people of New England crappy music. They get that already from other stations.
DARIA:
We'll meet back here tomorrow to discuss your findings, Lane.
(Everyone agrees and leaves while walk out Dani and Stacy talk)
DANI:
Hey, Rowe.
STACY:
Yea, Dani.
DANI:
There shall be payback for the Ipod and it shall be sweet and epically awesome. I just haven't though of what it is yet? I'll come up with something.
STACY:
Oh, Dani. You're just playing ....Right?.....come on...Ummm...Dani?.......Dani?
Scene 7 (At Lascalla's Pizzeria)
(Both have there laptops out listening to what Stacy told them to listen to get a idea of what she was talking about)
JANE:
In all of Boston, we find the pizza place with a great pizza and WiFi connection.
DARIA:
We are kind of are pizza snobs.
JANE:
And we will never pay more than $20 for a large pizza. A true pizza snob can find happiness in the next slice. After listening to a couple of those Gen-X stations, I have two questions. Who has been listening to my Ipod and why isn't WHUB doing this?
DARIA:
You know the answer to the second one, Rally! Which means nothing now, as we are in full control.
JANE:
So what about the first one.
DARIA:
That is a top secret between us Programming Directors. It involves the CIA.
JANE:
That's just what I thought, "This looks good on the charts, Let's play it."
DARIA: (Joking):
Dammit, you know our secret.
JANE:
Back to the topic, amiga. Do you think it's got what it takes to be our next format?
DARIA:
I think it does have what it takes to be the next format on WHUB!
JANE:
We got a winner! Look who just showed up.
(Stacy walks in looking antsy and a little bit paranoid)
STACY (looking around):
Hey Jane.
(deep breath)
All clear.
JANE:
Did someone give you extra crazy flakes for dinner?
STACY:
Ummm, guys - have you heard anything about Dani's revenge prank on me?
DARIA:
Nothing that I know of.
JANE:
Same here as well.
(Stacy phone is going off)
STACY:
Eeep!
DARIA:
You are going to answer that?
STACY:
Nope, could be a major prank.
JANE:
You need to relax.
STACY:
You're right, Jane. I'm going home to relax and eat big meaty pizza and not worry about what evil scheme, Dani's planning. There's nothing new she can come up with at all. See ya!
DARIA:
This station is very …................strange.
JANE:
Come on.
DARIA:
This whole station is freaking nuts! Why I'm here at WHUB in Boston, again?
JANE:
Because they are crazy enough to hire me and you as a MD and a PD at a station!
DARIA:
You got a point there.
Scene 8 (Daria's Office)
(The Programming Crew meet to talk about Lane's findings)
JANE:
After hours of painstaking research of listening to several stations, I think this is the format that WHUB can move ahead in the rating with.
DANI:
I take it the pain came from two pints too many of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream. So it's a go?
DARIA:
It's a go!
DANI:
Cool!
DARIA:
Why is Stacy giving you a dirty stare?
STACY:
(still staring at Dani)
I'm watching and wondering what Dani will do next.
DANI:
Daria, I have nothing to hide from Stacy.
JANE:
Are you still thinking Dani is up to something?
STACY:
I know her. When she says she's up to something; then she's up to something.
DANI:
Stacy, I talked to you already I am doing NOTHING!
STACY:
See Daria, Jane, She's up to something.
DARIA:
Stacy, Dani - I want a stress free day so I'm going to take the side of I don't give a crap and let you two handle it.
STACY:
No Fair. You're up to something! I'm going to find out, Dani.
DANI:
Stacy, I am NOT up to anything!
( They continue bickering as they leave)
DARIA:
And they ask me why I don't want kids, there is Exhibit A - I already have kids on the staff.
JANE:
I'm a little shocked you didn't become Super Daria and try to save the day.
DARIA:
Because contrary to what you see and hear, I am still not a people person.
(Dani pops back in for a second)
DANI:
Daria, Jane, Do you happen to have Stacy's cell phone number. I've changed my phone and I lost her number.
JANE:
I got it - Here's the number.
(Dani come over to copy the number off Jane's phone)
DANI:
Thank, Jane.
(Dani runs out)
DARIA:
OK, now I got to wonder, What is Dani up to?
JANE:
She needed a number, and because how Stacy is being right now I was just helping a friend.
DARIA:
Lane, you talked me off the crazy ledge. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
JANE:
You mean after 4 years of Lawndale High, 4 years of Raft and a decade at WHUB, THAT was going to make go crazy?
DARIA:
Or you calling yourself "bumpin" to some Josh Groban through the "mean" streets of Boston.
JANE:
You will never my playlist die would you?
DARIA:
Nope.
Scene 9 (WHUB Break Room)
(Daria and Jane has called a staff meeting)
(Dani walks in with a digital camera)
STACY:
(Suspicious)
What are you doing with a camera, Dani?
DANI:
I'm taking some pics for my Facebook page and I would like to get a pic of my good friend.
STACY: (Still suspicious):
OK, but could you of just done it on your Iphone and load them from there.
DANI:
I could, but I wanted a great pic. Stacy, can you give me two big thumbs up and a big smile.
STACY:
(doing this for Dani)
I look like a idiot.
DANI:
You don't look like an idiot, Stacy.
(Dani takes the pic)
STACY:
Hold on, Dani. I want a good picture of me and not of me doing something dorky.
DANI:
OK, but this goes on the billboard promoting the new show.
STACY:
OK (Stacy get ready for the beauty shot) Ready.
(Dani takes shot)
DANI:
I'll drop this off to promotions.
STACY: (Thinking outloud):
Wait a second, didn't promotions already have pics of us.......... Dani, DANI!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!
(Dani is running full blur with Stacy in chase, out of the break room when Daria and Jane comes in)
JANE:
Was that blur that came running out of the room, Rowe and Moreno?
(Everybody shakes there head)
DARIA:
I guess we will know what happened at 5 when they finds the bodies. I hope it's not here, because I look too suspicious. To the reason of why we called you all in. As you remember from our last meeting, I was going with a "More Variety" approach. Jane said we're going with a "Rock Variety format" This has changed, Jane?
JANE:
It has changed in a big way. WHUB is adding Pop music as we will become a "Gen-X" station, leaning on our Rock and Pop roots. We will be tweaking it to fit WHUB but it is a different sound for The HUB
Stacy will have a show on Sunday Night called "The Rock Show" and Upchuck, we are going with your "Club HUB" idea on Saturday night. I really didn't know you knew you stuff about dance music.
UPCHUCK:
It's a talent I acquired after years in the clubs.
ROBERT:
And many drinks in the face as well.
UPCHUCK:
(ignoring the comment)
Also I will be mixing as well on the show.
DARIA:
Please for the love of god, don't offend people!
JANE:
You do realize WHO you are talking to, right?
DARIA:
It's at least worth a warning.
ROBERT:
You know this is Upchuck.
DARIA:
Me and my damn hopeful ideas.
ROBERT:
The whole cynic thing suits you well.
JANE:
It's something that just work well after all these years.
UPCHUCK:
You know I am still in the room and I can hear, you two.
ROBERT:
Oh Chuck, You loveable dirty bastard, You.
UPCHUCK:
And only Robert Sanchez can change Dirty Bastard into something that sounds loving and nice. Are we done here?
JANE:
Yep, were done here.
Scene 10 (Stacy's Home)
(Starting at midnight her cell phone starts ringing off the hook)
STACY:
What the hell? I don't recognize that number.
(Phones rings agains)
STACY:
Who in the heck is calling at this hour? That is it! You are going silent, Mr. Phone.
(NEXT MORNING)
STACY:
Let's see what you been up to, Mr. Phone.
(Shocked)
1239 MISSED CALLS! I don't even know 1239 people in this damn City!
(Calm herself down)
Wait, something thing is amiss here. I'm going to find out.
(Driving into work on I-95)
STACY:
Something's up and I will find out at work.... Wait a second....Is that?
(A billboard with Stacy's two thumbs up and big smile picture is seen on on left side with the message on the right being: Stacy wants to talk to you at then followed by her cell phone number )
STACY:
DANI!!!!!!!!
(Stacy turns the radio to 98.5 and Dani is on the air with Daria and Jane, Flash cut to WHUB studio)
DARIA:
So Stacy is driving down I-95 this morning seeing this billboard?
DANI:
Yep.
JANE:
You know Stacy is going to be P.O.'ed at you, right?
DANI:
So she should of never played "that song" to me and make me listen to it all the way.
JANE:
Do you think she's going to call in?
DANI:
With how I hacked into every digital billboard in the city and put her cell phone number on them?. That would be a big NO.
DARIA:
Wow! You two do pull pranks on a grand scale?
DANI:
The one I remember the most as being the Stacy prank that got me badly was on the court of an Celtics Game and she pulled "Million Dollar Shot" prank on me during halftime.
DARIA:
I remember that one because that one went viral - plus it was very mean prank by a very sweet girl.
DANI:
This prank today was sweet and epically awesome.
BURNOUT:
We got Stacy!
DARIA:
Hello, Stacy.
STACY:
(Off-screen)
I am SO going to kill Dani Moreno!
(Studio is laughing hard)
DANI:
Hiiii, Stacy.
Where did you find a phone?
STACY:
I'm at Channel 5. You know - when 1634 people jam your cell phone, you realize that a payphone in Boston is hard to find. Sandi, what are you doing with the camera and the mic?
SANDI:
This is so going on the Noon News today! Dani's revenge on Stacy Rowe's "Million Dollar Shot" prank.
God I love New England!
STACY:
DANI! I'll see you later.
(Daria and Jane laughing their collective butt off)
BURNOUT:
Wait a second. I just checked out our site there is big picture of Stacy with the "thumbs up smile" and her phone number on our site!
JANE:
Holy Crap!
I don't what to say about that. I'm speechless.
DARIA:
Dani, You have done the impossible. You made Jane Lane speechless. Amazing! This is Rude Awakening on WHUB 98.5 with Jane "Speechless" Lane and Daria.
Scene 11 (WHUB Studio)
(Stacy and Dani meet up after the prank)
(Stacy shakes Dani's Hand)
DANI:
I thought you were going to kill me.
STACY:
Oh, I'll do that later, when there's no witnesses around. I learned that from Daria.
DANI:
So what up with the hand shake?
STACY:
I must shake the hand of someone that pulled off one the best prank I had the unfortunate luck of being the victim of.
DANI:
It was epically awesome and sweet, Stacy.
STACY:
Oh, Dani you don't know how awesome it was on my end.
(Dani's Phone starts ringing and Dani looks at the phone)
DANI:
Wait, I don't know that number!
(looks up)
........Stacy?
STACY:
(Smiling)
That payback's from karma, she's a bitch, ain't she.
DANI:
How big is the payback, Stacy?
STACY:
Every digital billboard in New England with that bad High school picture from your "finding yourself" phase with your cell phone number! This does include Vermont and Maine, because why should they be left out of the fun?
DANI: WHAT!
STACY:
Every TV Station in New England. Running the story with your cell phone number and said picture.
DANI:
I'm going to have to change my cell number! Where did you find that picture, Stacy?
STACY:
Every Radio in New England within our company. With a :15 liner saying "Call Dani now at" then followed by your cell phone number.
DANI:
STACY! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!
STACY:
Oh! And I almost forgot every station with our company on their website. Coast to Coast, Baby! By the way, I liked that splash pic of me today, Nice!
DANI:
I don't believe you! I have to change my number! I have to change my cell phone number because of this! Do you realize how much it is going to be? How did you find that picture? How?
STACY:
I already know all that. Dani, The lesson here is don't go small on pranks with me. I have connections and I have people I know that can help me with pranks. Lastly, I'm Stacy Rowe and I'm an F-18 in pranks, sis.
DANI:
I going to kill you, Stacy. Then ask Daria for that bridesmaid's dress so I bury you in it!
STACY:
You have to catch me first!
DANI:
STACY!!!!!!
Scene 12 (Lascalla's Pizzeria)
(Daria and Jane talking over a slice)
JANE:
I still can't believe how Stacy can step up the art of the prank. She is my hero!
DARIA:
Jane, don't get any ideas about pranks from Stacy. She may look sweet but she can put up and throw down some really mean pranks. Hey, Jane. remember Mr. T?
JANE:
Dammit, that was one of the meanest prank that I was the victim of. Hey, when I came back later that night, the shoebox wasn't there in the trash. Did Mr. T treat you right?
DARIA:
What Mr. T and Melody Powers did is none of your business.
JANE:
But, you never said what went down with Daria and Mr. T was that none of mine business as well?
DARIA:
That comes with the territory as well, Lane.
JANE:
The Mr. T Doll was your ….... (Shivers at the thought)
DARIA:
That's what you get for being curious, Lane.
JANE:
That was sick and that answers why you bought that Muno's Yo Gabba Gabba Microphone, too.
DARIA:
I can't believe I'm having this conversation at a pizza place. Jane Lane, you are one sick puppy.
JANE:
I had to find another sick puppy in this world and I'm glad it was you, amgia.
DARIA:
I agree.
This strange conversation never happened.
JANE: It did.
Can't unseen the seen. So what happened to Muno and The Melody Powers "too hot to be read" story?
DARIA:
Just shut up already. I really want you to leave unscathed.
JANE:
You still have it and Mr. T in your office, Don't ya?
(Daria stays silent on this)
JANE:
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You're sick! I'm gone!
DARIA:
You want any of the pizza to go?
JANE:
No, you and your heathen self can have that pizza.
(Jane leaves the pizza shop sickened by Daria's story)
(Daria gets a slice of Pizza)
DARIA:
Mr. T and Melody Powers, The prank that just keep on giving.
(takes a big bite as the show ends)
I'M THE BOSS!
Legal stuff:
Daria and Company
are characters and property of
MTV/ Viacom Copyright 1997-2012.
This is for entertainment ONLY!
Please don't sue me, MTV!
I'm broke as a joke as it is!
Scene 1 (WHUB Break Room)
(Show opens with Daria, Jane and Burnout going over their show for tomorrow when Upchuck comes in)
UPCHUCK:
How are my feisty ladies doing today?
(Daria covers her eyes like in Peek-A-Boo)
UPCHUCK:
Daria, what are you doing?
DARIA:
I'm wishing you are gone when I open my eyes.
(Uncovers eyes)
Damn, You're still here!
UPCHUCK:
A Hardy- har - har at my expense. You all think I'm a punch line?
JANE:
You mean you weren't a walking punch line around here?
UPCHUCK:
OK, I see you have jokes, but I have BIG news.
DARIA:
I've got a feeling that a big lawsuit may be coming. Especially if he keep going down the track I think he is going.
UPCHUCK:
Just for that, I'm going to let you guess on what the news is.
DARIA:
Hmmm,
(snaps fingers)
You were voted as "Radio's Biggest Stalker"?
JANE:
Janet Barch and National Organization of Women have filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of the women of New England against you?
BURNOUT:
They finally banned the word "Feisty"?
UPCHUCK:
Damn, you three are feistier then usual. It is none of those. Have you notice WHO hasn't been here recently?
DARIA:
I know someone who I don't want here now.
JANE:
Amiga, I'm going to bite on this. Who wasn't here?
UPCHUCK:
Rally wasn't here the last few weeks. Daria, you were technically the boss as the Music Director of WHUB.
DARIA:
Yeah, I had to handle that whole "Stacy vs Sandi" debacle alone. So where is he so I kill him.......verbally?
UPCHUCK:
Company management already killed him..... verbally. They've fired him!
DARIA, JANE AND BURNOUT:
WHAT!
UPCHUCK:
They fired him 2 weeks ago. That whole mandatory meeting later today is to announce the new GM of WHUB. Ladies, we are going to have a regime change at WHUB.
BURNOUT:
Do you know who it's going to be?
UPCHUCK:
That - I do not know.
DARIA:
Then go find out somewhere else. We are in the middle of a meeting, right now.
UPCHUCK:
Can I stay?
BURNOUT:
No! It's a show meeting.
UPCHUCK:
But I......
BURNOUT:
(Points to the door and in her best Arnold accent):
GET OUT!
(Upchuck leaves the room but leaves the door open)
BURNOUT:
(Gives pipe down signal):
Wait for it........Wait for it...............Wait for it.
UPCHUCK:
(off screen):
Hey Stacy, nice butt!
(Followed by hard punch, loud crash and girly crying from Upchuck)
STACY:
(The "nice and sweet" Stacy with her hair down peeks in and smiles):
It's all clear, ladies!
BURNOUT:
Meeting is over!
Scene 2 (WHUB Board room)
(All the staff of the station is there to find out who is there new boss)
PHILL:
First and foremost we want to welcome you here today.
DARIA (Thinking):
And, If you weren't here today, we would be giving your name to the new GM so we can fire your ass out of here, on the spot, of course.
PHILL:
\As you may of known already, Rally will not be joining us anymore as GM of WHUB.
DARIA: (Thinking):
We found out he had too few brain cells left to be in radio, so we kicked him to the curb.
PHILL:
We are starting a new era for WHUB and a new era in radio need a great leader, we are welcoming a women who...
DARIA: (Thinking):
So we need to up our amount of women in the workplace up by getting a woman to lead our larger market station.
PHILL:
Can lead the way as she did in Philadelphia, New York, and LA helping those stations reach number 1 in there markets. Currently a lot more people are listening to WHUB then ever before.
DARIA: (Thinking):
Thanks to me having to completely rework that ancient play list of our. OK, it seems the new GM is smart and has a track record of success.
PHILL:
We welcome to WHUB 98.5 The HUB, Your new GM of operations, Joanna Landon!
DARIA:
(Thinking)
JODIE IS MY BOSS?
JANE:
Daria, You look like you've seen a ghost.
DARIA:
Eeep!
JANE:
Well it looks like it's our friend, the boss.
(Jodie come up to speak to the crowd)
JODIE:
Well, first and foremost you can just call me Jodie or Jo for short. Phill, Why did you have to tell them my whole name?
PHILL:
I thought you liked it.
JODIE:
I don't. To you all, I am excited to join a great team like WHUB. WHUB has a great legacy in broadcasting in New England and that is something I am proud to be a part of now as GM. I am excited to make new friends with each and everyone of you. We're going to make some great radio like we already have for 55 years.We're just going to take it to that next level and give them more of it.
Thank you all very much.
PHILL:
Thank you for coming to this meeting and have a great day.
JODIE:
Daria! Jane!
JANE:
Jodie, Welcome to WHUB!
JODIE:
Thanks I really appreciated. Daria, You look shocked.
DARIA:
I didn't think you would go for a station like this. You always went to the top stations in tough markets.
JODIE:
Daria, I got sick of babysitting those stations and wanted to take on a challenge. Unlike what you have heard or think, this station doesn't suck. Plus, I got the two amigas and hottest morning show in the city on my station. Hey, are you two hungry? I feel like some pizza.
DARIA:
Hey Lane, you want a free meal?
JANE:
I'm in!
DARIA:
What time?
JODIE:
6:00pm, I'm doing a live introduction to the listeners at 5:00pm on Stacy's show.
DARIA:
Cool, I will see you then. Jane?
JANE:
Yeah?
DARIA:
You know that no one person can handle all that power?
JANE:
Listening to a lot Kayne West again, I see?
DARIA:
You can tell.
JANE:
Yeah, I can tell.
Scene 3 (LaScalla's Pizzeria)
(Daria and Jane are waiting for Jodie for Dinner)
DARIA:
The public. Why do we want them to listening to us again?
JANE:
Simple, they listen; we get paid. They don't listen; no jobs!
DARIA:
Oh, that make sense.
JANE:
I thought it would.
(Fan approached Daria and Jane)
FAN:
Are you Daria and Jane from WHUB?
JANE:
The one and only.
DARIA:
As far as we know.
FAN:
Can I get an autograph and a picture?
JANE:
OK.
DARIA:
Make it quick.
(Fan takes picture and signs autograph for fan)
FAN:
My Grandma will love this!
DARIA:
That fame, she is a mother.
JANE:
As long as you are getting paid well for it and there's Jodie.
DARIA:
And just in time, too.
JANE:
How was your first meeting as WHUB's proud General Manager?
JODIE:
It was exciting but I hope you didn't see that I was a nervous wreck up there?
DARIA:
You weren't. I was, but you were cool under pressure.
JODIE:
Daria, you had a title with the station I needed to know about?
DARIA:
Yes, and welcome to The WHUB family. This strange, weird and wacky family of Boston radio. I'm The Musical Director of WHUB.
JODIE:
Not anymore.
DARIA:
(Insulted a little bit):
What the hell are you meaning by that?
JODIE:
After nailing down that Channel 5 Deal with WHUB that we been trying to nail down for a decade, Turning around a station that was a sinking stone by redoing the play list, growing the rating with said play list and putting the station in the top 5 in the market for the first time in the long time.
That doesn't sound like a Musical Director to me.
DARIA: (Interested):
What does that sound like to you?
JODIE: (matter of fact)
My new Programming Director! Daria Morgendorffer, would like to accept this offer of a new position with WHUB?
DARIA:
I will take the offer.
JODIE:
That means we need a new Musical Director for WHUB. Lane, you were previously Assistant Musical Director for WHUB. Would you like to take off the assistant off the title and become our new Musical Director of WHUB?
JANE:
Heck Yea!
JODIE:
You two are now running WHUB with me now.
DARIA:
So you had more then pizza on your mind, Jodie?
JODIE:
Yeah, But I was hungry too and I don't have to worry about staffing now. It's a really good deal being the boss!
Scene 4 ( Daria's Apartment)
(with both of there laptops going and papers surrounding them, Daria and Jane work on the re-launch of WHUB)
DARIA:
Now, I remember why I hated homework?
JANE:
So much music. Why do we have so much music?
DARIA:
Jodie wants us to change up the play list. She's saying she wants WHUB to be the HUB of music in New England.
(Sighs)
Jane, I got an idea?
JANE:
What is your idea, Morgendorffer?
DARIA:
I would like to see your Ipod.
JANE:
I must ask why?
DARIA:
I would like to see the musical taste of my new "Music Director".
JANE:
The Music Director would only agree to this breach in privacy if and ONLY if the MD gets to see the Programming Director's Ipod.
DARIA:
You drive a hard bargain, Lane. Deal!
(They switch Ipods)
DARIA:
The musical taste of Jane Lane, let us see what pops up. We have our usual play list of Alternative Rock- The White Stripes, The Strokes, TV On the Radio....Here some out of the ordinary track. Yolanda Be Cool - Speak No Americano, George Kranz- Din Da Da, Daft Punk- Da Funk, Fatboy Slim- Weapon of Choice and Lady GaGa- Love Game. What's up with all the techno and dance tracks?
JANE:
They are great artists to paint to. Fast music can get the artist juices in me flowing, plus it's great running music too. Ready for your questioning, Amiga?
DARIA:
As ready as I will ever be.
JANE:
I see a lot of hip hop on your iPod, Why Hip Hop?
DARIA:
Well I love a bangin' beat one in a while. I love Snoop Dogg, Kayne West, Gorillaz, Nate Dogg as well, but my favorite is Outkast.Anything they do I'll listen to it.
(looking through Jane's iPod)
Here one for you, Lane.
JANE:
Fire away, sailor.
DARIA:
You still listen to the big band stuff. I thought after that guy you would hate that stuff?
JANE:
That guy was Nathan and yes, he was an ass. But the music he listened to didn't suck at all. A lot of those artists really set the standard like Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, and Cab Calloway. You know there songs. They are that timeless. Plus, you got Big Bad Voodoo Daddies and Brian Setzer Orchestra keeping that music alive.
(Starts going through Daria's iPod)
Morgendorffer, What is all this Country Music?
DARIA:
I'm was from Texas, once. When you say Country to me, I don't mean the current crap they are calling country music. Now that's Nashville pop music.
JANE:
What do you mean then?
DARIA:
Country is to me is George Morgan, Jim Reeves, Conway Twitty, Lorretta Lynn, and the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. That's what I call country. REAL good country music.
JANE:
What's up with N'Sync?
DARIA:
Quinn.
JANE:
Quinn?
DARIA:
Quinn. If there was a boy band that was out in late 90's to early 2000's Quinn knew every member in that band and which band they were in. She played the hell out them every day and night. I think she considered torture, and for the most part, I would have to agree. Most of those group sucked except one, 'N Sync, and I fell in love with there album, No Strings Attached. I actually went into Quinn's room and stole her 'N Sync CD. Everybody thought I smashed it in to bits. I was actually listening to it every moment that I was alone and thought I could get away with it.
(Jane is laughing at Daria's admission of being of fan of 'N Sync)
JANE:
Who was your favorite one?
DARIA:
Justin Timberlake!
JANE:
Did anyone ever catch you with the CD?
DARIA:
I caught myself. When you go into work tomorrow, ask Stacy if this happened and she will confirm it as truth.
(Flashing back to the scene of the crime)
DARIA: (VO):
I was with Tom at the time.
JANE: (VO):
Yeah, thanks. Don't mention it.
DARIA: (VO):
Sorry and that was 10 years ago, back to the story. I saw online that day that the video for Bye, Bye, Bye was going to premiere on TRL. I told you I was with Tom for the afternoon and I told Tom that I was with you for the afternoon. I thought that the Fashion Club would be at Sandi's to watch TRL so I had the afternoon to basket in the glory that was 'N Sync on TRL in a home that I thought was going to be vacant when the Fashion Club showed up.
(Flashback)
QUINN:
Darrrria, what are you doing here?
DARIA:
I am waiting for the coolest video ever to come on?
QUINN:
And what video could that be?
DARIA:
'N Sync's Bye Bye Bye. Weren't you all supposed to be at Sandi's?
SANDI:
Quuinn, Did your cousin just said she is waiting for a 'N Sync video?
QUINN:
Did you really just said you are waiting for Bye Bye Bye?
DARIA:
Yes, I did? Then after the video premieres, I will go on mtv.com then vote the living hell out of that video so I can see it everyday.
QUINN:
Daria, stop joking.
(Stacy comes from upstairs)
STACY:
Why is your "cousin's" door wide open and computer on mtv.com's TRL page?
(QUINN with a shocked look starts to believe Daria)
TIFFANY:
Annnddd, hoooww does your cousin even know Whooo 'N Sync eveeeen Isss?
DARIA:
I heard it from Quinn and she got me hooked to 'N Sync and their current album.
SANDI:
But, QuuINN, You haven't had there current album for two months?
QUINN: (Sing-Songy):
Oh, Sandi, You are so right.I haven't had that album for months? Darria, Do you know anything about that?
DARIA:
Eeep!
(Back to the present)
DARIA:
You remember that day when I wore that sporty shirt that I hated - the one that showed off my belly, with the jeans, and the contacts? I told you I was doing "a walk in there shoes" thing?
JANE:
I remember that!
DARIA:
Payback via "Fashion Club Makeover", but I still bought N Sync's next CD. Also Justin's solo albums and everything he was doing. There is my rock star crush.
JANE:
I thought it was Trent?
DARIA:
(Blushing)
Quiet you.
JANE:
I am so going to play some 'N Sync on the show tomorrow!
DARIA:
Hold up, Amiga! Michael Buble, Celtic Thunder, and Josh Groban?
JANE:
Damn, PBS and their "Fund Raising" drives and their great soft music. Damn it. You going to pull that out if I pull out the boy bands, Right?
DARIA:
Right, but knowing you…
JANE:
Can I get a rain check for that bridesmaid's dress?
Scene 5 (WHUB Board Room)
(All the staff is there to find out what changes are coming to WHUB. The scene opens with Jodie front and center addressing her employees)
JODIE:
How are all of you this afternoon?
(Mumbles and grunts of "good" and "fine" from the staff that are there)
JODIE:
Glad to see we are in the land of the living. There will be some changes to WHUB, Of course.
UPCHUCK: (Like it was a reflex):
Please don't fire me!
JODIE:
Uhhmm, No jobs will be effected by the changes, but Upchuck if you are volunteering your job?
UPCHUCK:
Nope, I like my job.
(Jodie give Upchuck a "Daria"- Like stare)
JODIE:
Moving on. One of those change is in who will be programming the station. As you all know, Daria was our Musical Director. She is now our Programming Director. Jane Lane, our Assistant Musical Director will now be our new Musical Director for the station. Can both of them come and explain what will be happening with our station?
(DARIA and JANE come up to the staff)
DARIA:
As you all know, I am not one for public speaking or for speaking at all. Why I even entered into this line of work is baffling as best and that I ended up loving it, is even stranger.
(Some laughter from the staff, even from Jodie, remembering how Daria was in High School)
I loved being a part of a great station and building a great station. We are about music, first and foremost. It's who we are what and we have been for years. We are going to be adding more music with a "More Variety" approach by adding hits from yesterday and today. The music will be chosen and driven by who is behind the mic.
So when we start this format, there will be a shuffling of the times. We will be staying at our current 5-10am spot. Robert - you will be staying at your current 10am to 3pm spot. Stacy and Dani, we are putting you together for the afternoon drive time 3-7pm. Upchuck, We aren't firing you but you are making a big move in Nights 7pm-12am. We do not have anyone for overnights - but that will come soon. So for now, we might just go with straight music for that time. Now to Jane with info on the format.
JANE:
At this time, we are sticking with our Rock Variety format but with a simpler name WHUB 98.5.
(Robert raise his hand)
JANE:
Yes.
ROBERT:
So status quo for the station for now but under the New WHUB 98.5.
JANE:
Yes and we are aiming to surprise our listeners in a GOOD way with songs that you can only hear on WHUB, too.
ROBERT:
I like this.
JANE:
Also, we are looking at adding local music. We are looking at other ideas as well.
DARIA:
So - do what you already do and come and knock on our door if you have other ideas as well. You are now free and raise hell someplace else other then here.
JANE:
Stacy! Dani!
(whistles at them and wave them over)
You know we have yet to fill out the current reshuffling of the staff.
STACY:
Sooo, what does it look like?
DARIA:
Upchuck is in Promotions, we know he can go bother them for a while. Robert is a legend with the station so he is moving to community relations.
DANI:
Uhmm, where are we in this picture?
JANE:
Dani - you are with me, as Assistant Musical Director.
DANI:
(Sounding just like her brother, Jessie)
Cool!
JANE:
I don't know why that sounded so familiar. Hey Stacy, do you have 'N Sync on your Ipod?
(DARIA gives Jane a very dirty look)
STACY:
I haven't listen to them in years.
DANI:
You were listening to 'N Sync's I Want You Back, yesterday - when we were heading in. Last time I checked, years doesn't means hours.
(Stacy now shoots a very dirty look at Dani)
JANE:
You have something in common with your PD. You will be the Assistant Programming Director with Daria as your boss.
(Daria and Stacy are muttering every bad thing you can think of until Stacy thinks of something)
STACY:
Fine, but I got a choice for the MD and AMD, Have Daria here put you in those bridesmaids' dresses she has, or a song off my Ipod
DANI:
iPod
JANE:
Easy, iPod
STACY: (really perky):
And you have to listen to it all the way. Ok, Jane and Dani?
DANI:
No sweat
JANE: (laughing):
Might be the easiest thing I ever done and I ran the Boston Marathon.
DARIA:
What are you doing?
(Stacy shows Daria the song cue up on her Ipod, Rebecca Black- Friday)
DARIA:
Lane, I think you are about to regret those words.
(Quick cut to WHUB Studio, during Rude Awakening)
JANE:
And then, she did the impossible. She actually did the freaking impossible. I know Stacy is Boston's sweetheart, but by the end of that song - I would have put myself in that bridesmaid's dress then killed MYSELF before I would listen to that song again! I got one of those bridesmaid's dressed for Stacy just for making me do that as well.
DARIA: (Smiling):
Wait you mean?
JANE:
Rebecca Black trumps dead in Ugly Bridesmaid Dress!
DARIA:
Now thanks to Stacy, I can revise that bridesmaid dress quote to. "I will kill you and put you in that bridesmaid dress with Friday playing in the background!"
JANE:
Great, now it just went from funny to just plain evil, Daria.
(DARIA Starts playing the first verse of Friday)
JANE:
Screw you, Morgendorffer, I'm going home.
DARIA
laughing):We still have an hour to go, plus Dani was going through the same thing, too.
BURNOUT:
The E-mail I received from Dani was just simple, F you and screw Stacy for doing that!
DARIA: (Cracking up)
I want to note that I didn't play this song to them, that was from Stacy off her Ipod.
JANE:
Why would she download it?
DARIA:
For moments like that. This is Rude Awakening on WHUB 98.5
Scene 6 (Daria's Office)
(Stacy and Daria are talking station programming and her prank on Jane and Dani)
DARIA:
You know I have to hand it to you, Rowe. That was really wrong especially after we JUST gave you a promotion - but the payoff of that joke made it so worth it.
STACY:
I feel really bad, but then I realized I was going to only be able to pull that one off once on them. Plus they learned a valuable lesson as well.
DARIA:
And what was that, Stacy?
STACY:
I freaking rule on April Fools! It has become a tradition that either me or Dani prank each other on or around that day, every year.
DARIA:
And we put you in a position of power, why?
STACY:
Because I'm the right person for the job. Uhmm, Daria?
DARIA:
Yes, Rowe.
STACY:
I want to pitch you a show for WHUB.
DARIA:
OK, give me your pitch.
STACY:
I want to do a Rock Show. Some local stuff, Some harder stuff, Stuff we don't usually play on WHUB.
DARIA:
Sounds interesting , but aren't we already doing that with the station?
STACY:
Jane said she's really not sure what the station will sound like after we finalize everything.
DARIA:
So that's what she been working on for last couple days?
STACY:
Plus, she and Dani aren't saying anything about the format to me. They're still giving me dirty looks after playing that song.
DARIA:
Yeah, about that? I listened to that song last night on YouTube and I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW THEY FEEL!
STACY:
Well - you can still ask Jane what's up with the format. Isn't she your "Amiga"?
DARIA:
She's still a little huffy about me even playing that song on the show.
(Jane comes in to Daria's Office)
DARIA:
And speak of the amiga.
JANE:
Does Stacy have her Ipod with her?
DARIA:
She has sworn to use her Ipod for good.
JANE:
OK, with that out of the way. I don't know what the format will be yet.
DARIA:
So your brain is in "Mystik Spiral" Mode?
(Imitating Trent)
Hi, were WHUB 98.5, but we'll be coming up with something better.
STACY:
Daria, Still have the hots for him?
(DARIA shoots a quick mean look at Stacy)
JANE:
Dang you are Miss Observant, Rowe!
STACY:
Hey, I was here when "The Spiral" did that interview with your show and Daria was acting like little school girl around the lead singer. Plus, I do listen to the show and conversations around the station.
DARIA:
Note to self. Do interviews on locations and away from Rowe. OK, Got any ideas with this format problem?
STACY:
I have been reading about this format called "Gen-X", but we don't have to call it that, of course.
DARIA:
What is it?
STACY:
We play the hits from yesterday and today. 80's, 90's, and 2000's and now. Hip- hop, rock and pop. If it's good we play it!
JANE:
Now I see why you hired her as your Assistant PD.
STACY:
I also did some research on this too.
(Dani walks in)
DANI: (Cautious):
Does Stacy have her Ipod with her?
JANE:
It's safe to enter.
DANI: (Calmer):
So what is up with the format?
DARIA:
Rowe might have something. She think we should go to a "Gen-X" Hits station.
DANI:
What the hell is that means, Gen-X?
STACY:
It's music our age group call "old" or "Classic" From Guns N' Roses to 'N Sync plus some current hit stuff that we already play.
DANI:
Ohhh, that explains it a little better. Do you two like it?
JANE:
I want do some research on my own on this.
DARIA:
I thought you, Jane Lane, would try to avoid the extra thought processing. What about the C average lifestyle?
JANE:
Daria, with your thought and reasoning, you have corrupted me. Not to mention, I don't want crappy music on my station.
DARIA:
So C average on everything but music?
JANE:
You got, Morgendorffer. I can't give the good people of New England crappy music. They get that already from other stations.
DARIA:
We'll meet back here tomorrow to discuss your findings, Lane.
(Everyone agrees and leaves while walk out Dani and Stacy talk)
DANI:
Hey, Rowe.
STACY:
Yea, Dani.
DANI:
There shall be payback for the Ipod and it shall be sweet and epically awesome. I just haven't though of what it is yet? I'll come up with something.
STACY:
Oh, Dani. You're just playing ....Right?.....come on...Ummm...Dani?.......Dani?
Scene 7 (At Lascalla's Pizzeria)
(Both have there laptops out listening to what Stacy told them to listen to get a idea of what she was talking about)
JANE:
In all of Boston, we find the pizza place with a great pizza and WiFi connection.
DARIA:
We are kind of are pizza snobs.
JANE:
And we will never pay more than $20 for a large pizza. A true pizza snob can find happiness in the next slice. After listening to a couple of those Gen-X stations, I have two questions. Who has been listening to my Ipod and why isn't WHUB doing this?
DARIA:
You know the answer to the second one, Rally! Which means nothing now, as we are in full control.
JANE:
So what about the first one.
DARIA:
That is a top secret between us Programming Directors. It involves the CIA.
JANE:
That's just what I thought, "This looks good on the charts, Let's play it."
DARIA: (Joking):
Dammit, you know our secret.
JANE:
Back to the topic, amiga. Do you think it's got what it takes to be our next format?
DARIA:
I think it does have what it takes to be the next format on WHUB!
JANE:
We got a winner! Look who just showed up.
(Stacy walks in looking antsy and a little bit paranoid)
STACY (looking around):
Hey Jane.
(deep breath)
All clear.
JANE:
Did someone give you extra crazy flakes for dinner?
STACY:
Ummm, guys - have you heard anything about Dani's revenge prank on me?
DARIA:
Nothing that I know of.
JANE:
Same here as well.
(Stacy phone is going off)
STACY:
Eeep!
DARIA:
You are going to answer that?
STACY:
Nope, could be a major prank.
JANE:
You need to relax.
STACY:
You're right, Jane. I'm going home to relax and eat big meaty pizza and not worry about what evil scheme, Dani's planning. There's nothing new she can come up with at all. See ya!
DARIA:
This station is very …................strange.
JANE:
Come on.
DARIA:
This whole station is freaking nuts! Why I'm here at WHUB in Boston, again?
JANE:
Because they are crazy enough to hire me and you as a MD and a PD at a station!
DARIA:
You got a point there.
Scene 8 (Daria's Office)
(The Programming Crew meet to talk about Lane's findings)
JANE:
After hours of painstaking research of listening to several stations, I think this is the format that WHUB can move ahead in the rating with.
DANI:
I take it the pain came from two pints too many of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream. So it's a go?
DARIA:
It's a go!
DANI:
Cool!
DARIA:
Why is Stacy giving you a dirty stare?
STACY:
(still staring at Dani)
I'm watching and wondering what Dani will do next.
DANI:
Daria, I have nothing to hide from Stacy.
JANE:
Are you still thinking Dani is up to something?
STACY:
I know her. When she says she's up to something; then she's up to something.
DANI:
Stacy, I talked to you already I am doing NOTHING!
STACY:
See Daria, Jane, She's up to something.
DARIA:
Stacy, Dani - I want a stress free day so I'm going to take the side of I don't give a crap and let you two handle it.
STACY:
No Fair. You're up to something! I'm going to find out, Dani.
DANI:
Stacy, I am NOT up to anything!
( They continue bickering as they leave)
DARIA:
And they ask me why I don't want kids, there is Exhibit A - I already have kids on the staff.
JANE:
I'm a little shocked you didn't become Super Daria and try to save the day.
DARIA:
Because contrary to what you see and hear, I am still not a people person.
(Dani pops back in for a second)
DANI:
Daria, Jane, Do you happen to have Stacy's cell phone number. I've changed my phone and I lost her number.
JANE:
I got it - Here's the number.
(Dani come over to copy the number off Jane's phone)
DANI:
Thank, Jane.
(Dani runs out)
DARIA:
OK, now I got to wonder, What is Dani up to?
JANE:
She needed a number, and because how Stacy is being right now I was just helping a friend.
DARIA:
Lane, you talked me off the crazy ledge. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
JANE:
You mean after 4 years of Lawndale High, 4 years of Raft and a decade at WHUB, THAT was going to make go crazy?
DARIA:
Or you calling yourself "bumpin" to some Josh Groban through the "mean" streets of Boston.
JANE:
You will never my playlist die would you?
DARIA:
Nope.
Scene 9 (WHUB Break Room)
(Daria and Jane has called a staff meeting)
(Dani walks in with a digital camera)
STACY:
(Suspicious)
What are you doing with a camera, Dani?
DANI:
I'm taking some pics for my Facebook page and I would like to get a pic of my good friend.
STACY: (Still suspicious):
OK, but could you of just done it on your Iphone and load them from there.
DANI:
I could, but I wanted a great pic. Stacy, can you give me two big thumbs up and a big smile.
STACY:
(doing this for Dani)
I look like a idiot.
DANI:
You don't look like an idiot, Stacy.
(Dani takes the pic)
STACY:
Hold on, Dani. I want a good picture of me and not of me doing something dorky.
DANI:
OK, but this goes on the billboard promoting the new show.
STACY:
OK (Stacy get ready for the beauty shot) Ready.
(Dani takes shot)
DANI:
I'll drop this off to promotions.
STACY: (Thinking outloud):
Wait a second, didn't promotions already have pics of us.......... Dani, DANI!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!
(Dani is running full blur with Stacy in chase, out of the break room when Daria and Jane comes in)
JANE:
Was that blur that came running out of the room, Rowe and Moreno?
(Everybody shakes there head)
DARIA:
I guess we will know what happened at 5 when they finds the bodies. I hope it's not here, because I look too suspicious. To the reason of why we called you all in. As you remember from our last meeting, I was going with a "More Variety" approach. Jane said we're going with a "Rock Variety format" This has changed, Jane?
JANE:
It has changed in a big way. WHUB is adding Pop music as we will become a "Gen-X" station, leaning on our Rock and Pop roots. We will be tweaking it to fit WHUB but it is a different sound for The HUB
Stacy will have a show on Sunday Night called "The Rock Show" and Upchuck, we are going with your "Club HUB" idea on Saturday night. I really didn't know you knew you stuff about dance music.
UPCHUCK:
It's a talent I acquired after years in the clubs.
ROBERT:
And many drinks in the face as well.
UPCHUCK:
(ignoring the comment)
Also I will be mixing as well on the show.
DARIA:
Please for the love of god, don't offend people!
JANE:
You do realize WHO you are talking to, right?
DARIA:
It's at least worth a warning.
ROBERT:
You know this is Upchuck.
DARIA:
Me and my damn hopeful ideas.
ROBERT:
The whole cynic thing suits you well.
JANE:
It's something that just work well after all these years.
UPCHUCK:
You know I am still in the room and I can hear, you two.
ROBERT:
Oh Chuck, You loveable dirty bastard, You.
UPCHUCK:
And only Robert Sanchez can change Dirty Bastard into something that sounds loving and nice. Are we done here?
JANE:
Yep, were done here.
Scene 10 (Stacy's Home)
(Starting at midnight her cell phone starts ringing off the hook)
STACY:
What the hell? I don't recognize that number.
(Phones rings agains)
STACY:
Who in the heck is calling at this hour? That is it! You are going silent, Mr. Phone.
(NEXT MORNING)
STACY:
Let's see what you been up to, Mr. Phone.
(Shocked)
1239 MISSED CALLS! I don't even know 1239 people in this damn City!
(Calm herself down)
Wait, something thing is amiss here. I'm going to find out.
(Driving into work on I-95)
STACY:
Something's up and I will find out at work.... Wait a second....Is that?
(A billboard with Stacy's two thumbs up and big smile picture is seen on on left side with the message on the right being: Stacy wants to talk to you at then followed by her cell phone number )
STACY:
DANI!!!!!!!!
(Stacy turns the radio to 98.5 and Dani is on the air with Daria and Jane, Flash cut to WHUB studio)
DARIA:
So Stacy is driving down I-95 this morning seeing this billboard?
DANI:
Yep.
JANE:
You know Stacy is going to be P.O.'ed at you, right?
DANI:
So she should of never played "that song" to me and make me listen to it all the way.
JANE:
Do you think she's going to call in?
DANI:
With how I hacked into every digital billboard in the city and put her cell phone number on them?. That would be a big NO.
DARIA:
Wow! You two do pull pranks on a grand scale?
DANI:
The one I remember the most as being the Stacy prank that got me badly was on the court of an Celtics Game and she pulled "Million Dollar Shot" prank on me during halftime.
DARIA:
I remember that one because that one went viral - plus it was very mean prank by a very sweet girl.
DANI:
This prank today was sweet and epically awesome.
BURNOUT:
We got Stacy!
DARIA:
Hello, Stacy.
STACY:
(Off-screen)
I am SO going to kill Dani Moreno!
(Studio is laughing hard)
DANI:
Hiiii, Stacy.
Where did you find a phone?
STACY:
I'm at Channel 5. You know - when 1634 people jam your cell phone, you realize that a payphone in Boston is hard to find. Sandi, what are you doing with the camera and the mic?
SANDI:
This is so going on the Noon News today! Dani's revenge on Stacy Rowe's "Million Dollar Shot" prank.
God I love New England!
STACY:
DANI! I'll see you later.
(Daria and Jane laughing their collective butt off)
BURNOUT:
Wait a second. I just checked out our site there is big picture of Stacy with the "thumbs up smile" and her phone number on our site!
JANE:
Holy Crap!
I don't what to say about that. I'm speechless.
DARIA:
Dani, You have done the impossible. You made Jane Lane speechless. Amazing! This is Rude Awakening on WHUB 98.5 with Jane "Speechless" Lane and Daria.
Scene 11 (WHUB Studio)
(Stacy and Dani meet up after the prank)
(Stacy shakes Dani's Hand)
DANI:
I thought you were going to kill me.
STACY:
Oh, I'll do that later, when there's no witnesses around. I learned that from Daria.
DANI:
So what up with the hand shake?
STACY:
I must shake the hand of someone that pulled off one the best prank I had the unfortunate luck of being the victim of.
DANI:
It was epically awesome and sweet, Stacy.
STACY:
Oh, Dani you don't know how awesome it was on my end.
(Dani's Phone starts ringing and Dani looks at the phone)
DANI:
Wait, I don't know that number!
(looks up)
........Stacy?
STACY:
(Smiling)
That payback's from karma, she's a bitch, ain't she.
DANI:
How big is the payback, Stacy?
STACY:
Every digital billboard in New England with that bad High school picture from your "finding yourself" phase with your cell phone number! This does include Vermont and Maine, because why should they be left out of the fun?
DANI: WHAT!
STACY:
Every TV Station in New England. Running the story with your cell phone number and said picture.
DANI:
I'm going to have to change my cell number! Where did you find that picture, Stacy?
STACY:
Every Radio in New England within our company. With a :15 liner saying "Call Dani now at" then followed by your cell phone number.
DANI:
STACY! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!
STACY:
Oh! And I almost forgot every station with our company on their website. Coast to Coast, Baby! By the way, I liked that splash pic of me today, Nice!
DANI:
I don't believe you! I have to change my number! I have to change my cell phone number because of this! Do you realize how much it is going to be? How did you find that picture? How?
STACY:
I already know all that. Dani, The lesson here is don't go small on pranks with me. I have connections and I have people I know that can help me with pranks. Lastly, I'm Stacy Rowe and I'm an F-18 in pranks, sis.
DANI:
I going to kill you, Stacy. Then ask Daria for that bridesmaid's dress so I bury you in it!
STACY:
You have to catch me first!
DANI:
STACY!!!!!!
Scene 12 (Lascalla's Pizzeria)
(Daria and Jane talking over a slice)
JANE:
I still can't believe how Stacy can step up the art of the prank. She is my hero!
DARIA:
Jane, don't get any ideas about pranks from Stacy. She may look sweet but she can put up and throw down some really mean pranks. Hey, Jane. remember Mr. T?
JANE:
Dammit, that was one of the meanest prank that I was the victim of. Hey, when I came back later that night, the shoebox wasn't there in the trash. Did Mr. T treat you right?
DARIA:
What Mr. T and Melody Powers did is none of your business.
JANE:
But, you never said what went down with Daria and Mr. T was that none of mine business as well?
DARIA:
That comes with the territory as well, Lane.
JANE:
The Mr. T Doll was your ….... (Shivers at the thought)
DARIA:
That's what you get for being curious, Lane.
JANE:
That was sick and that answers why you bought that Muno's Yo Gabba Gabba Microphone, too.
DARIA:
I can't believe I'm having this conversation at a pizza place. Jane Lane, you are one sick puppy.
JANE:
I had to find another sick puppy in this world and I'm glad it was you, amgia.
DARIA:
I agree.
This strange conversation never happened.
JANE: It did.
Can't unseen the seen. So what happened to Muno and The Melody Powers "too hot to be read" story?
DARIA:
Just shut up already. I really want you to leave unscathed.
JANE:
You still have it and Mr. T in your office, Don't ya?
(Daria stays silent on this)
JANE:
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You're sick! I'm gone!
DARIA:
You want any of the pizza to go?
JANE:
No, you and your heathen self can have that pizza.
(Jane leaves the pizza shop sickened by Daria's story)
(Daria gets a slice of Pizza)
DARIA:
Mr. T and Melody Powers, The prank that just keep on giving.
(takes a big bite as the show ends)
There is some changes coming to Little old WHUB and our two "Amgias" are in the middle of it as the new GM does the unthinkable........DARIA AND JANE NOW RUN THE STATION! What happens? What do their Station look like? what does it sound like? Is New England even ready for their radio station?
© 2012 - 2024 allstar20032
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